"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Shave to savor her

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with BlogAdda.com

Paarth came back from office very late ,it was 7:30 pm.It is not late you guys might be thinking but she had asked him to be home by 5:00 pm so, he was late.She was lying down on the sofa holding a pillow,eyes closed.He thought to himself seems she might be tired.He could not resist when he saw her sleeping so peacefully.Her soft pink lips teasing him,ponytail waiting to be free from tie ,the exotic smell of her enchanting and the soft,silky & smooth skin waiting to be savored.He dropped his stuffs from office on the floor,loosening his tie he moved stealthily towards Maya.
Opening the hair tie he set her hairs flowing free,some of the tresses covering her eyes and forehead,he gently caressed her face with the back of his palm.She smiled holding his hands in hers.As she opened those beautiful eyes,amazed hazel orbs stared him.He mouthed 'I'm sorry darling'.In almost an instant she pushed him aside now sitting on the sofa.Pouting like a baby she shook her head telling him that wont suffice.
He took her hands kissing them and sucking each finger one by one pleasuring her or as he thought bribing his wife.She moaned,closing her eyes.
Removing the only flimsy black silk rob Maya was wearing he touched every part of her bare skin with such fragility as if she might break with any harder a touch.When he stopped the slow torture her eyes sparkled with the knowledge of consequences of this start.She stood up letting him lie on the sofa.As he watched her with admiration she unclasped the buttons giving her a full view of the bare skin beneath the shirt he wore.She removed it and threw it on floor now positioning herself on top of him.He was too eager to be lying down as he pounced on her automatically changing the positions.Now she lay on sofa beneath him there giggling as she knew how he was.Paarth began kissing her on cheeks,lips.......Thud!
Paarth-Eh!What was that for?
Maya-You come late and i allow you a chance and you present me with those pricking stubble.
Paarth-Honey i shaved i swear just two days before.
Maya-Are you looking forward to having a good time my dear?(she asks in a sugary tone with the most angelic face ever)
Paarth-Oh! sure.(His face lights up with a smile full of mischief)
Maya-So you have to do something for that.
Paarth-What?
Maya-Go shave darling until then you can have me torture you by lying here the way you have left me.
She winked as Paarth huffed and got up to shave to get his girl to agree a night full of promises...

Monday, December 17, 2012

Straight way


Almost like every teenager girl i have this desire to give my hair the perfect style and frankly speaking (not because of the competition) i love long perfect straight hairs.I remember watching a girl on television in the advertisement having long,straight and lustrous hair.She used to sway them in air with a big smile on her face.Yes that advertisement was of sunsilk only.Oh!How i used to envy those locks and i had short hair back then and was 5 or 6 years old.

I have done number of things to get that straight look.Earlier my hairs were messy curls.I oiled them and used shampoo but the result just lasted till my hairs were wet.That was sad well i din't give up.I oiled my hair once again,put shampoo,conditioner and finally did a steam wrap voila! my hairs were straight but alas! just for few days.Then came advice from here and there.
I tried different hair styles and cuts but they did not render any change in the look of my curls.They just vanished for the day that i had a cut and after that very day i found my hairs back to their favorite curly look.People liked my curls very well but i wasn't giving up on my like.Like every other girl (only this time i let my girly cells work because hairs are something i love to death) i tried those "ghar ke nuskhe"(home made remedies) and all.Washing your hair with yogurt,strained water of chenopodium (bathua) and water of hibiscus(i.e. hibiscus flowers boiled in water).Hot oil massage remember the parachute hot oil champi :P that one.Coconut milk and lemon was my last option with these natural remedies.But to no avail my hairs pretty adamant you see.Did you notice i din't write using eggs in there above anywhere :-/ I find the idea quite creepy as well as smelly.So no matter what i have never ever even thought of trying that technique.

So finally i decided what was i gonna do and it is till date the craziest thing for me to do with my hairs not to mention dangerous.I repeated the procedures for washing my hairs i.e. oiling them,washing them them with shampoo and conditioner and then when they were absolutely dry i placed a towel on my bed.Took iron(press) let it get heated up.Placing my hairs on the towel and combing them for like 50 times(literally) i ironed my hair :-/ ....for say about five-six minutes then i couldnt stop touching them again and again.From 
then on they havent turned into messy curls ever.

P.S.-This is written and submitted by me for the Indiblogger competition.

P.P.S-This post has been edited.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Paranormal

From past two three days interestingly i am engaging in chit chats regarding the paranormal realm.When i was small i used to be so afraid of these things and i remember i told my mother that i won't ever be able to go out in dark alone like you do it is so scary.And my mother used to coo me saying everything will be alright when you grow up.I failed to understand her then but now i know what she used to say.
Now these things or i should rather say mysteries catch me off guard. I stick to them instantly without even my realization.They intrigue me to great heights.People in general are afraid of this but i feel a thrill reach down me standing alone in the dark trying to feel presence of others residing in the parallel dimensions.A eerie shiver runs down my spine and a tiny speck of fright leaves with it,then all lies is a soothing aftermath.
All it needs is a connection,no matter how little it may be.It helps so much to connect with the YOU inside you.
The esoteric signs and symbols are around us everywhere.But as the word says it is only to be understood by the people who can understand the mystic and religious connotations.Everything that happens around us is calculated and predictable.Some people are afraid when they know that something is predictable others merely prepare themselves to enjoy the predicted without tampering the calculation.The harmful ones are those who know what is going to happen and tamper with the calculation involving themselves in a lifelong misery uncalled for.

There is a barrier between illusion and reality.What do you do when they permeate their boundaries to bind with each other and mix like they were never separate?


Image courtesy

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Black coffee

People sugar coat damn too much.No one likes the truth simply they want it in a way that doesn't hurt them.Rarely i have interacted with people who like the truth as it is.But there is a condition that they have a particular mood and time to listen to it that we have to identify.Well the first rule of getting your work done is to say something nice and sweet about the person.when the person is basking in the glory of their flattery you can use the opportunity to get your work done.I don't see that where do people get true friends from.
Who do get one they are truly blessed.A guaranteed fair weather friend and a friend with a back stabbing tendency are free everywhere always.
Lies do not come inside of us inbuilt we each have a role model in disguise.We listen to the lies from them,hate them for it and then slowly and gradually we pick up their style of lying and then it is mutual.
When ones we achieve the trust and faith of a person i.e. they tell us all about themselves without having to poke them for information then you know you have reached a soft corner and hurting them is too easy cause you know their weaknesses.As well as you have an extra bonus of being treated in a different way than others in your peers or group of people by that person.I see people blinded with the other by the mere exception that they like them and trust them and have total faith in them.They don't see what is wrong with the person.Their flaws end up becoming their beauty.

I know i have written something very much broken up.It is like one thought lead to the other and this is what it made.But yeah one thing guaranteed it has a clear view of lies and undertone of bitterness,jealousy and hatred.
And now a conversation that has been reeling in my mind from the starting of this post.Maybe you can relate to it or may be you cannot.So here it is

Backdrop-Coffee shop

M-Can you tell me why i like Black coffee so much?
T-Yeah! Because it is pure and has no adulteration.

You can rarely find a Black coffee and if you do you have hit a jackpot and should make sure you drink from them forever.Yes drink from them cause they are true,pure,selfless and solely dedicated to satiating your thirst.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The void

Banishing every thought in my mind was possible or so i thought.Huge canvases of black laid in front of my closed eyes waiting to be given colors.I don't like colors that much but still they screamed to me to paint them.I am yearning for the void ,to reach stability.The non-existent part of me.My esoteric insignia different from every other known.I dwell in my ethereal void but without my knowledge when i sleep and slip into the realms unknowns.
A electric jolt like sensation crosses every cell of my body.As suddenly i lie with open eyes now staring at the very same spot continuously ,infinite number of memories cross my eyes.Covered in blanket embracing myself as yet i shiver in the cold night.And floodgates of the blocked thoughts open as each of them try running in front of the other through the thick coat of layered silence.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

To him,to home..


I laid covered in his arms,
listening to the lilting hush-hush of his breathe.
I inhaled in scent of roses and chocolate.
That i could identify anywhere.
As he clinked our glasses,
filled with crimson delight ,
sparkled in the late winter moonshine.
His inebriated eyes shone at par with moonlight.
He hummed a tone softly near my ears.
I closed my eyes and soaked in the moment,
keeping silent cause i knew my words slurred unlike his.
The touch of skin on skin soothed my nerves.
I felt at peace in that embrace.
I knew i was home at last;
I belonged to him ,
and he told me he is mine.


Tuesday, October 02, 2012

I watched her die..

*Cause i wanted to write,and i wrote succumbing to temptations..*

I watched her escalating,rise,blaze and vanish.A feeling gnawing her insides each moment.
Laughing when others laughed on a joke or shedding tear drops when caught up in emotional riot.
It is a state of normalcy in front of the lay man.As she promised herself something new each day a part of her longed and craved for someone to support,hold and push her forward to make her establish something worthy.Trust wasn't alien to her but she wanted it to be alienated from her life as it crumbled each time when associated with her.Every single day a part of her was nibbled,scratched,sucked and parted off from her.Faith dwindled and virtue rested on shaky grounds.A mirage to which she was giving away and surrendering every part of her only to be left with nothing.Body is made of flesh,bones and blood but she knew it differently.Her body had a semblance with that of a glass.Chipping at times with soft dents and shattering into pieces with the hard falls.Every now and then she had to take time off to gather the shattered pieces showing fractals of nothingness and regale them.Blending herself in the blasting sound of music as it was the best she could do to distract herself.Crumbling and smashing she told herself she had adjusted but inside it all was but a lie.She cried in the confines of her heart till she blacked out.
She wanted a companion in real sense,who would hear her out and be with her in every type of time that she witnessed.She wanted to be complete in search of her other half.
She was essence i watched her sublime with remains of nothing behind.I watched her die..

Monday, August 06, 2012

Voice lost

I tried as much as i could,
and now there is no more.
I failed to have you.
I got rejected.
And I stand here today
stranded and alone
with my voice lost..

Friday, July 27, 2012

I am silenced

Shriveling with every breathe.
Shivering with every step.
Ramifications unfold my prophecies.
Its hard now to feel the self palpitating.
It grieves me to see, 
the life shrinking in them.
It hurts i say so, 
but all falls on deaf ears;
and parched heart which i was trying to resuscitate.
Couldn't they feel me holding?
Couldn't they see me struggling for them?
Couldn't they see i was drinking their pain?
Couldn't they see my claret burning?
I abandoned my trust on them.
I am silenced through and through.
And now they say i am unfair.
They will blame me, 
but can't they see 
that they sabotaged themselves!

Friday, July 06, 2012

What comes with life?

Right from the beginning of my world there were things i din't understand and still don't.Earlier their was confinement.I didn't like to share my world with almost..well..anyone.I was alone,all was for me whatever i did i din't have to think about any second person.Restrictions had their own meanings and partly i accepted them because i felt secure in the restrictions almost from an invisible monster.Introvert as they call was what i liked to be.Many people knew me by name and sometimes actions but most of all they called me weird or crazy.They warned every other new girl around me before they got to know me that i was someone who was not to be interacted with.I din't mind cause i loved my privacy.At home their was no one either.I was scared of every little thing happening around me.Ghosts,nightmares,strangers and night was all frightening to me.And that was what was used for frightening me,to get me under control.The rooms used to crumble under the harsh noises from the fights in my family and i didn't have any say in that.I watched pain inflicted,submission and then again back to normal.It was almost a daily affair and seemed normal after around two-three years.
The very term socializing created a eerie picture in front of me and i avoided to step into the unknown world.I loved my own company though i don't know if i loved myself or not.
The incorrigible core of me was for no one.I started interacting people got to know me they stayed close,ditched and went away.It hurt a lot at first cause i had opened up and it was what made me dependent.I hated myself for being such a cry baby.Then i discovered a pattern through all the ditching and decided to bar entry even if what i had opened was a little part of me.I know most about a person but the person in front of me doesn't know me.Yeah they know what i do and what i don't but that is not what is me.I crashed myself,regained and molded myself back up to live.
Their is a facade on my face that is still hiding me.The timid,shy,innocent and good for nothing me.I am afraid yes i am to get hurt after being known for who i really am and left.
The derisiveness of life compels me then to shed tears that i so badly keep inside.Life given to me from whosoever it is believed to be the ultimate power has a emissary.But through it we have so much more to go through which is not planned by us but our actions that give away to them.
To put on a demure personality and walk forward in front of the world.Saying yes when they say yes and saying no when they say no is how the world works.It doesn't have place for the incompetent and helpless.Either you do as said or you can live on your own whims and wishes but with a beware that you don't get to be known to anyone and by stroke of luck only that you get something to live on and earn.
One fine day when i had decided to let someone come near me i saw all the unavoidable pictures weave in front of my eyes.I was yet to commit to anyone else rather than myself.They had assured me that they would be by my side to help me overcome my sorrows.They had failed miserably in that task.They had let my hopes down and made me damn dependent on them.Once more my world crumbled as i longed yet on the broken words said to me.The weight of  betrayal let loose on me and a feeling of being used shook through me.I was just but happy about the fact that they had not committed to me yet it shoot daggers in my heart cause i oh so badly wanted them to say to me that yes they commit to me.I fail to decipher what is life teaching me.I am yearning like a nincompoop.And i hate that i still surrender to their mellifluous talks and my anger vanishes at the very mention of them.An illusion curbing the mind.And i wish i had known and understood "the little you have to love the less you are attached to world"
Is life a play?
Yes it is and we are the actors/actresses as Shakespeare has long told us about life in his sonnet Seven ages of man.A circle,a vicious one is drawn around us as we experience life.
Moving in circles with the part and parcel life is offering to us.But we are the ones to choose and if we don't have a choice we got to make one to really live life.Freeing ourselves from the trap that life has lured us into.Step forth onto rainbow.
P.S.-It was written in first person but these are just the thoughts of the writer and not their own story.


Sunday, July 01, 2012

I am in Problem.

It is part of life.Everyone have them.You know problems.The difference is how you deal with it.Some people like to run away from them,some try solve it,leaving it in midway cause simply they are done with trying and the last category of people holds the one who find the cure,apply it and come out victorious with a solution.I have and am experienced/experiencing all the three phases.


It infuriates people close to me to make me see applying the first way.But i don't know how do i become so helpless that i end up doing nothing other than going away from the problem.Thinking that it is a bad dream and when i wake up it will vanish.And they don't put themselves in my shoes and analyse the situation rather they just tell me what they feel is right according to their view point.
Some people love to preach and they would say things which for themselves are idealistic and they don't follow but they give you the idealistic thoughts in free-fund.I at times pity these people and at times am cross with them.You cannot help it,more than half the population has this very dangerous disease of giving unwanted advice,thoughts and words.

The second way out is the one where in the beginning you are determined that no matter what i am gonna find the solution and be done with the problem as soon as possible.But when you find out it is hard in actions than from the thoughts and words.You back off and fall back into the first category itself.I do this seldom and then realize what a big coward i am.

The third way is very hard and which i suppose goes well with the poem "The road not taken" if you don't know what i am talking about then have a look at the link hereThe Road Not Taken-Robert Frost.
When i follow this road and turn out victorious it feels good and life seems a bit little messed up from earlier.And it happens RARELY.

Now what made me pour these thoughts out here was that i kind of thought of talking to someone but felt they might be busy and i should not disturb them.So whenever they get time they will call but well.They called and we talked but could not cause there was chaos around.Deciding to talk later that day,i called but the scene was same and i was told that i would be contacted later.Now this later isn't coming and this is a problem to me and i am thinking as to call or let it be and wait for that person to remember that when chaos got over they had to call  ...No idea! I am a lost cause as of now and my friends call me that.I am so confused that i am not able to take any decisions but i have to no matter what.
I want to sort out the pros and cons with someone but there is no one around right now.Everyone is engaged in their life and bothered only about themselves.I am waiting for my number in their life(and wish that they give me a number soon because later on there might be nothing for them to help with,there is a duration of my current problems).I am very afraid of life ahead and i am sure about the fact that if at this point my decisions are wrong i stand nowhere later.
At this stage i can say that i am kind of hoping on hope.And i seriously wish some bad things are really bad dreams and will get over when i wake up from sleep the next day.I am badly in need of something to calm my heart,mind and soul.Plus this pathetic weather which is dull super hot is getting on my nerves!

From the last paragraph i can literally see myself venting out and i have done this first time on my blog 
Hope all you people having a nice life and if there are problems may they get solved as soon as possible 
Till then Hasta La Vista!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

If only

I decided i wont talk anymore.I picked up my broken heart and moved towards the exit that i thought was nearest.Coming out i couldn't breathe anymore.Snow flakes touched me softly everywhere,my bare skin tingling to the sensation.I loved him from every bit of my throbbing heart.I told him that but those were on deaf ears.He liked to torture with the diplomacy of not stating the truth.I had left without letting the words out to him "Goodbye" but that was not the way to end.I had left it hanging like he had me.I stumbled with the next step i took on the ice floor that was created almost out of nowhere.Before i could feel the numb ground he held or so i thought and i submerged deep.Sinking where i didn't know,all was dark around.My heart pained.Eyes moistened with the need oozing out of the silly heart.Opening my eyes i could see the crushed petals and i was in land unknown...but i still loved..if only and only just he could understand me....

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I am 18!

Going 18 has its own charms? I don't know really.And as far as in know people have a tag for every year added as a candle on your cake or they simply make one but out of those the stepping into teenage world,turning into adult,entering middle-age and going onto 60's are the most celebrated ones.I feel that before becoming 18 you have many new things lined up for you(mostly).You start to think what would it offer you or rather what is that is so cool about being an adult.Right now i feel like i am standing on a deserted island with what way to choose to cross over is alien to me(It is because of the timing of my birth date ).I am sometimes mesmerized by the beauty surrounding me and at times i just stand and stare totally blank.I am going to make some changes in my life, not that i have chose to but it is important at this phase of my life otherwise i would be one of the left out ones.
You sit somewhere peaceful enjoying a nice cup of whatever you like.You think about the past and what all has made you what you are today.Now there are choices 
A)You remember the bad things.
B)You remember the good things.
C)You remember both.
Now doing A) B) or C) have their own plus and minus points but how would you know that you are doing the right thing.When after finishing that cup of whatever you like you still have that peaceful thinking and ability to judge the beauty of 
your surrounding intact.You have not let your past affect you, rather you have made your decision to move along with whatever you have and to make the best of whatever is going to come ahead of you.That is being an adult(according to what i feel,you can modify or tell your own definition ).
As per these numbers being added to your ages its a judgmental parameter.The government says that you are an adult and have the power to enjoy some advantages that you could not when you were not termed as one.
Whatever i don't feel an iota of change as of now,gradually everything changes in life so its not an attribute of being 18 and adult.But with the coming of this age whether i feel something different or not but i do have to do list to complete my adulthood.
1.My mother bubbling with happiness said you have to now manage your account(Actually she was maintaining it finally she can rest that in my hands).
2.I have to get a voter's id(As if i am eager  )
3.I can get a valid license to drive!!!!!!!!!!(This is the only thing that is making me happy right now )
4.I can go for movies rated A(Adult)(As if i was not watching one when i wasn't )
5.I have to get my passport renewed myself and that too online and if you guys read the newspaper or are doing anything related to passport then you might know renewing passport online is one hell of a task!! And this is because after you are an adult you can get the validity of your passport as 10 years(India) (These are my father's order)
The list can go on but this all what i have right now on my mind and yeah for some,one important thing might be missing.But you have already gone through this phase or going through or about to go through and you know what is that one thing that i have not mentioned here and is pretty obvious  .And this one thing was mentioned to me right at 12 after wishing me.
And most importantly now people can taunt me by pointing out my age and say "You are an adult now it is your responsibility" 
That is that and here i wish myself Happy adulthood and i turn 18 today  and i don't know if it is early to put it like this but i ain't afraid of getting older and neither of dying  If someone at all reads this then do share your 18 or stepping into adulthood in comments!
1.P.S.-I guess i can even booze or is it 21? 
2.P.S.-Co-incidentally i have got my 118th follower as i turn 18.It's you *Dark Angel*
Key to my adulthood!

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Unnamed

As the moonlight lit the paved boulevard,it almost occurred simultaneously that how for fraction of second it must have been all dark through the trees and still was in some places where the shadow of the tree covered the road.There was no sign of a single soul in that almost ghastly silence.A parky wind blew through the blanket of night.Flickering the candles which she had lit on the post of entry inside the house.Her hairs played in their own tune ruffling and messing up as if almost wanting to follow what the winds wanted.She wanted wings to grow out of her,to be able to tear every bond and fly out high inside the dark black clouds.The melodious tune of the wind chimes penetrated every molecule of the air in vicinity,interrupting her dream to fly.
There are times when you think why did something happen if at all it happened.It is all part of a bigger plan that you are weaving slowly.He has been away for quite sometime,she knew this time he isn't coming back.Her heart screamed in pain but her mind tried to curb it with a logical reasoning.On many days like today they have talked with each other standing on their respective balcony or terrace.Several occasions gifted them with the opportunity to be together in front to be able to touch each other.
She thought to herself what was it that kept them bound to each other for so long and even now in feelings and memories if not any other way.And she remembered something she had heard long back
The gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of those that are destined to meet each other in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way
It is almost like the concept of having soulmates.It was love that she had for him.Which was in no way distinguishable or comparable to any other feeling she had in her life.Such is the power of love that even the mightiest gods and universe creator have bowed down in front of it.
Shiva(a hindu god) when fell in love with sati because of her pure devotion,love and sacrifice of human life for him was bound with her forever.When she died he could not live like a god.Anger was his display on discovering of her death,nothing seemed right to him without her in his life.He left his home(supposed to be the heavens) and came on earth,he started dwelling a life of Bairagi until and unless he met her reincarnation.
She believed in her love but she was aware that no matter how hard she would want to be with him,she cannot be.A chance to be with him for whatever period possible did make her learn many things.She didn't regret whatever she did with him.Her longing was insatiable.Her mind always asked her Can life come to standstill if he is not there with you? She smiled talking to her mind you won't stop,cause you are not an emotional fool.Then she looked at her heart and said you damned are going to be all for him always.She was touched and possessed by him forever.She bore his mark on her.How much so ever she wanted to be with someone else,it wasn't possible because she was bound in an unbounded and unnamed relation with him.If only she had what he wanted in her,if only he had fallen in love with her,if only it was possible not to share him with anyone..
Falling leaves wishing goodbyes.
Hugging thyself she looks in sky.
Cloaked in the darkness she smiles whispering, 
maybe he is feeling that i am embracing him!

Monday, June 04, 2012

Crimson happiness

I stated in anger 
You don't care!
An iota of what i surrendered to him,
is not what i am asking back.
Still when I look back in his eyes;
I see what i have never seen for myself.
His countenance displaying an atrocious smile,
laced with fatal poison.
As he caresses my face and says
You are my crimson happiness..!

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Sweet Somethings..

She ruffled his hair and giggled.He was sleeping with utmost contentment on his face,on her lap.She didn't knew when it happened.They were watching a movie and slowly he laid down on her lap without his or her knowledge.She was keenly watching the movie,her heart almost jumping out during the thrilling scene.And when it ended she looked down.He looked just like a baby and she was more than happy to have him sleep on her lap.
The sun had been torturing for couple of days but a violent storm followed by drizzly showers were all that was needed to make the weather pleasant.She slowly shut down the laptop.Watching him intently.Blinking was out of question she was so afraid that she would loose the moment any minute now.As he made a cute sound and turned his head,his hands searching for something.He got hold of her hands.And as he brought them near to himself,he smiled.She was amazed by this kind of a reaction.
It had been almost an hour that he was lying like that and she watching him.He woke up rubbing his blurry eyes.She smiled to him.He got up slowly and said..All this while it wasn't a dream?
What are you talking about Mayank?
Ruhani..i dreamt i was sleeping on the most wonderful place ever.
She blushed a bit and eagerly moved in front to hug him.I will love you always for no reasons and these sweet somethings.He bend forward and kissed on her nose.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Close..

Memories weaved through moments,
glacier like they flood my soul tonight!

Wetting my parched heart on the way, 
air of nostalgia speeding past.

Tinging pale blue longing in being,
chilling the dimmed surround Oh! so slow.

Warmth that i sense,
nearing I coadunate with you.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Undefined bond..

It was rather a tiresome day and she wasn't finding solace in whatever she did.As soon as she changed her clothes and kept her head on the pillow to sleep, her cell vibrated.Wondering who could be calling her this late she just picked it up without even seeing the number she said Hello.No response from the other side strange so she looks at the number.A deep surprise plus shock wave hits her its him its him her mind screams and her heart is doing somersaults.
Hey say something
I did say.I said hello
He started laughing
She couldn't suppress her but she chose it to be mute and didn't show him.
He exclaimed What happened was it too bad that you are so silent?
I just don't know.I mean finally you remember to call me after telling me five days back that you would ring me up in ten minutes.Does my watch work too fast or yours is too slow?
Oh! I said that i would call?Is it?
Yes Mr. you said so and you didn't.That's why the silence wasn't fun and your laughter not infectious.
Hmm..Ok tell me what would make you laugh?
You figure that out.Do some work you lazy bum.
Hahahaha..How would a hug work for you?
Don't say or ask.Just try!
Tell me where do i have to meet you?
What?
Where and when do you want to meet me?
How can you be so nice I mean how did you figure out i wanted you to meet me?
See that smile playing on your lips.
Okay okay i give up I am smiling but you have to meet okay?
Of course idiot i would meet you and so i said where do you wanna meet me.
Okay tomorrow we both take day off from whatever we are doing and meet up some place then decide what we are going to do.
Alright!Meet me at the same station at 9 in the morning.
Done! Okay talk to you later.Now i am so damn tired and sleepy though didn't want to say so but now that we are meeting it seems alright to say so.
Okay.Take care and keep smiling.
I love you.You keep smiling too.See you.
See you.
All smiles she was and sleeping meant direct getaway to heaven and letting out plans of what to do with him tomorrow.In the morning she woke up rather early.It was 5 on the clock and she said to herself good for me, would do everything taking lots of time.Her favorite red color kurti and the black jeans. Accessorizing herself with a silver bracelet,a fragile looking chain with a butterfly pendant and those oxidizers which he had gifted him.She applied kohl to her eyes,mascaras on her eyelashes,a sweet light pink lipstick and a silver bindi complementing her whole attire.
She glanced at the watch it was 8:30 am.She exclaimed perfect timing now i'll be there just in half an hour.Jingling her house keys she reached the station in an hour and messaged him
Where are you?
After ten minutes her cell beeped Look around and find me :)
Don't fool around.Tell me where are you?
I can see you miss red and black ;)
Hey..that means you are around somewhere but where?
That is what you are going to find out :D
Caught you B)
So come near me
Stupid stop messaging i am in front of you
First you.
She spoke ok now stop.They both giggled like a fresh,new,happy couple.What the others didn't know was that they were not actually couples and that they have known each other for very longtime.
Do you have water?
Yes! For you my eminence.Here! All yours.
Hahaha..I knew you would have water.
Yes i bring it for you every time.
He looked at her all the while he was drinking water.His mind jolting into thousand of flashes.He had imagined more than a day with her in those few seconds.She could sense he was going somewhere else through her eyes.She smiled and asked so what next?
You tell me.You have anything in your mind?
Yes i do.How about we hit either your place or mine.
A naughty laugh lingered on both of their faces and he held her hand without saying anything and she let him take her wherever he wanted to.She had full trust on him and that she could never have on anyone else ever.He bought the tickets.Handed her one and took one for self.They entered the train.It was jam-packed and he held onto her hands tightly and she hugged him tightly.It took them one hour to reach the destination.And as she stepped out of the train she knew where were they heading to.They finally reached his place after fifteen minutes.He opened the lock and they both entered.She sat on the sofa and said Aaann..advancement you got a sofa.
Just for you madame(he said smiling gingerly)
She laughed and asked him what he was upto.He came after a some minutes and said hop on the bed.He had a coffee mug in his hand and as soon as she was called she hopped on the bed.He said sip it,she looked at him surprised.He pushed it towards her and then letting the brim in contact with her lips.She sipped and then he sipped from the same mug.He kept it aside and hugged her.Then he slowly looked at her.Her eyes were closed.
Rudhira?
She didn't say anything.He closed his eyes too and neared with the feeling of the heat emanating from her cheeks.His lips met hers and she didn't struggled to go away.Sinking as if into the unknown crevices of which ends were unknown.He tasted the creamy bitter-sweet flavor of the coffee mingled with butterscotch balm she had applied.She could taste the coffee on him.Her hands moved carelessly over him.She couldn't believe what she was doing neither did he know what was happening.Penetrating through and through into each others breathe they could hear each others heartbeat.She was feeling like ice,which was melting with every touch of his.She didn't know to loose control or retreat back.Retreating back wasn't a option it seemed and she gave in with hearty pleasure.
She parted her lips,he looked at those eyes they were still close.Both shed off their inhibitions.They weren't ashamed of finding each other laced in arms bare and being each others cover.Embrace had its whole new meaning redefined for him and her as well.He pulled the blanket over climbing on top of her.He kissed her cheeks,neck,belly and she was let into a delusional world.She was moaning softly and let out Devoid of breath Paarth..
He instantly felt her need rushing towards her lips.His light stubble scratching her soft skin and teasing them with consequent goosebumps as sign.They just couldn't resist the force binding them.He was kissing her so intense while hands working on her arms and shoulders.She was holding onto his hair so tight.Feeling each other as they traversed ages into each other.Their hunger devouring each other accompanied with ferocious growls and bites.She sighed all the more..she was not able to distinguish anything as she felt it like as if in a dream in her reality.They synced and merged with each other becoming one.Holding onto each other tightly,her nail scratched his back and his teeth engraved on her shoulders.A calm took over all of a sudden a rush of pulse and at the same time stop of breath.They fell into a deep trance.The pain mingling with joy.She felt it moving.He identified giving away himself to her.The ephemeral moment etched in deep silence.They slept facing each other sideways hugging each other as to never let go.He bit her ears playfully,she giggled.He then whispered in her ears did you want it?
She opened her eyes looking at his face.His eyes were closed now,she caressed his hairs and she saw tears trickling from the corners of his eyes.She smiled and kissed him everywhere.Then replied him i know this is what we had wanted for so long.She held his hands tightly,putting her face in his chest.He hugged her in that urgency.
They remained that way for way too long.
Seemingly never returning back from their trance...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Tonight:Sleep with you!


Image courtesy
I looked through the window.And he smiled looking at me.Showered me with his pale milky light,promising me to cradle me in his arms with a subtle sleep tonight.I kissed him and he caressed my forehead.He walked near me accompanied by his beloved adornment the night.Moved a flick of hair to see my closed eyes with the help of his dear friend gentle breeze.I finally had a smile on my face after a long tiring day.To sleep with my moon tonight,i lay bare covered by him today! 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The scent..

A fragrance wafted in the air.I thought i knew it as i was nodding my head with the beats of the song playing on my i-pod.And as i reeled through each song i could find some bits of memories from my life matching with the wordings of the song.Sure thing happens with most of us.So back to the fragrance.I knew that i have felt it before somewhere but where that was the question.
I looked out of my room struggling out of the warm blanket wrapped around me.There was utter darkness and pin drop silence.Then with utmost precision i opened the creaking window.With full care so that it doesn't wakes anyone else.
I looked outside and there was no one but i could feel the scented air.The diffusion had been slow as the scent came in small bits after every absorbing moment.
I got up and went outside.The night looked more beautiful when you can feel it engulfing you.And that is exactly what i felt,one with dark and silence.
I moved through the wet grasses bare foot,as my anklets jingled happily.There was no tree around our house and nor could anyone find a house to call neighbor before walking 3 kms.
I moved on watching the fireflies flying in the tall grasses.The owls eyes shining perched upon a distant tree.The stars were gazing me and moon was lighting my path.I could feel myself going closer to the scent.And there I saw it.The one fragrance that made me way happy.
As i could feel the winter chills advancing with each passing day.And so i realized it's time for it.The circle of white bunches of pretty flowers scattered underneath the tree.It was the saptaparni(Indian Devil tree).
I lied over there covered in night's beauty.Melancholic calling of the owl in my ears.Accompanied with the heavenly scent of the flowers.And i wasn't aware for how long i stayed that way.Only realizing with the first dew drop falling on me that it's time for the sun to shine and fragrance to fade away with light.

Image Courtesy-Alstonia Scholaris i)The tree's Image had been edited with effects which were not in the original image.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Irony!

Life is full of it.Whenever you think you have got an answer you would be somehow bent to think of the other side or possibility.I have met two people recently whom i found so damn contradicting that i could not stop myself from writing this.

First situation
A girl of 20 years,wants love from someone.At times she thinks that he loves her and some times she can't help but make out other possibilities such as a no.
She -I don't know how i should ask him this but i know he loves me.He says so many things which point to it.
I -Good.Then you should ask him sometime soon.

Some other day with a bad mood how she talks about the same subject
She -He does not care for whatever i do he only talks to me when he needs me.I know i am no one in his life.
I -*Silence*
And then she goes on about the negative aspects...contradicting something she might have said some hours ago in the same day.
When a man cares for you out of his good mood take it as it comes,as you are actually being pampered.You don't know when and how the same mood slips and becomes something which makes you cry.And again keep the possibility in your mind that it is not necessary if a man cares for you that he loves you or if a man loves you he would care for you.At times certain love stories aren't the perfect fairy tale ones and neither are they as simple as a proposal given and accepted.When you can wait for your love with sure perseverance and patience then someday you might know the truth from the person(again keeping false hopes are subjected to your conditions) or you can not wait for an answer and move on with your life to find a partner who would propose you or accept your proposal.

Second situation
A guy of 21,does not quite believe in relationships.And has what you call a knack for friends with benefits.
He -There is something good about this girls.
I -And what is that?
He -All of them i had a relation like this are wonderful human beings.
I -What exactly does that mean?
He -I have a relation such as this when i know they have a nice heart.
I -What has heart to do with this kind of a relationship?

He says he can't afford to be in a relationship but yet whosoever he sleeps with or f***s wants that they have a nice heart.When you would f*** someone and move on what's the point that they have a nice heart or not after all you are engaging for pleasure(read lust) and not love.

And last but not the least.I have known this person for quite sometime.
Third situation
A guy in his late 20's.Is high on life,happy go lucky and knows how to enjoy life.He likes what is known as change.He believes in the quote 'Only change is constant.'
In a conversation
I -Is change that necessary?
He -It's the rule of life.You cannot avoid it so better be with it than against it.

A conversation with him some other time
I -If you love someone won't you say it to her?
He -I don't know.
I -That is not an answer explain me why wont you say it to her?
He -I think once i commit in a relationship i would have a big change.

Now what more could i have said about it to him.He likes changes and accepts them but then why can't he accept one in the sphere of love?Afraid that it is big eh?
Which WAY do you want to go?
Even head is yours and tail is yours.Then what's the meaning of tossing around.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Why can't we live?

Everything we do everyday bears a mark of us sometimes considered and sometimes ignored.We preach,eat,dance,laugh,cry,rant,complain,blabber,make love,flirt...so on and so forth.When our expectations are hurt or we are crippled advancing through a situation we fall in a chain of misery.Down the hollow sphere of hopeless and mindless criticism and useless advises(which would hardly be practical).
Have you ever felt blotted with lots of things?Felt like slammed right down that it shook you down the spine so bad that you can see the powdered bone but missed the cracking pain of it.
Why does it happens that whatever we do should be according to a question,accusation,reason or condition.Life of people living on planet "EARTH" Has gone utterly hay-wired and crazy.Earlier things were easier and simple.There was no door,no handle,no luxurious houses/bungalows,no fancy clothes..yeah i am talking about early humans.But then came inventions and ideas to make life simpler as they say.But the only view i am able to perceive is total complexity.All the things that were simple and easy are made hard and complex then exclaiming questions and decoding it back to simple.
It is all according to the sociological rule that what had started once long back is going to go through several changes making it different from the starting point and then it would be back to square one.
All this goes fine but why have people lost the very essence of living life.We are pushed beyond our stamina for a day(saying as matter of fact),join the race,get pushed around and go back home feeling tired so much so that we don't know what we are saying.Situations are controlling us and we are total slaves with a priority list hanging in front of our eyes(irrelevant of the fact that we are awake or sleeping) and the things we did earlier must have been a natural automatic impulse without the need of a list.Conditions are ruling us everywhere.Whatever sanity is left is with the new born month old babies.I don't even count the kids of age 3-9 years as innocent and untouched of worlds rule cause they are pacing ahead with knowledge more than necessary and inviting all the tensions much earlier than needed.
Is it really that difficult to switch off that laptop or mobile you are carrying on the weekends or perhaps say holidays to roam around and meet family or friends.No i have a better option let's do the interaction on skype.Technology has crippled us damn bad.I remember once being with my uncle in states and in his car was installed GPS which helped navigating the route anywhere but it came with a condition(it follows everywhere) that wherever the satellite had low signal or the weather wasn't fine it stopped giving you a way.And he felt like stranded on an island cause he had lost all his memory of directions of places once the GPS had been installed.
We build something to relieve our labor but what about the labor being put to planning it and making it which does not leave you with any strength to actually enjoy what is created.
We can go on and on about this like forever.So i would only say it's fun once in a while when you don't have a boss over your head or conditions weighing you down or a deadline or a project or a plan to advance.Enjoy the days cause there may come a day when weekends or holidays become history and Homo sapiens get a new name such as Robo sapiens.
Lets live!